This has all the trappings of a sitcom plot:

Two men who sued more than a half-dozen strip clubs because of extra fees charged for lap dances got some good news from a Houston appeals court.

But that could be bad news for other lap-dance fans, who may want their appreciation for that art form kept confidential. {…}

A lawyer for Meekey and Fulmer said the lawsuit may be made a class-action.

That could mean notifying a lot of other men who used credit cards to pay for lap dances in recent years.

And that might not go over very well in some households.

It reminds me of an incident many moons ago regarding the Skycap Inn.

My girlfriend Julie and I were sexually active at the time. Though we were consenting adults, we lacked a location once her parents nixed her bedroom at their house.

So one time we decided to get a hotel. Now women have this strange thing about wanting a hotel room they’re staying at not to be “dingy”, “dirty”, or “disgusting,” so we ended up staying at a pretty nice hotel near the airport named The Skycap Inn.

I paid cash for the room, but they still wanted a credit card in case of damage. I gave it to them without thinking about it.

Six months later I got a call from Mom. “Do you know anything about the Skycap Inn?”

“Not sure. Why?”

“Did you?”

I thought about denying it, but she wouldn’t pick that particular hotel out of thin air if she didn’t already know something. “Yeah. My friends and I needed a room to shoot a scene for a little film we’re making.”

I don’t know if she ever bought it, but I think she did. She didn’t challenge me on it. A few weeks later she felt comfortable enough to tell the story to some friends from church. I think it was one of those “we don’t want to know” things where she wanted to believe my story.

It turns out that they sent a “Did you like your service?” questionnaire and they’d taken the address off the deposit credit card.

In the end it was very good that I (half) came clean about getting the room there. Not only did I get away with it, but her first thought was that William Truman was my father: Bill Truman.

When the subject last came up, Mom and I wondered aloud how many cheating spouses had been busted by Skycap’s Quality Assurance team.

Category: Downtown

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3 Responses to Busted By Quality Assurance

  1. Barry says:

    Boy, makes you think twice when someone tells you to “Get a room!”

    I can imagine how embarrassed your mom must have felt. Did she know you were, well, active with anyone at the time? Or was she afraid it was a one-night-stand?

  2. trumwill says:

    Mom and I generally had a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy about such things. But she knew that Julie and I had been dating for years and joked about her fears that Julie would get pregnant. Any time I told them that I had news to share, she’s say “Julie’s not pregnant, is she?”

    Mom’s always been that way.

    I think she believed my somewhat improbable tell because that still meant plausible deniability!

  3. Becky says:

    Interesting post, there. I guess I never would’ve thought about the customer service follow-up busting cheaters. Then again, I dont’ think I’ve ever had a hotel do that, as they usually leave the card in the room.

    I would think that releasing the names of previous card chargers at strip clubs is a greater invasion of privacy, then the fact the guys paid a little more for the lap dance. If the spouse opens that letter and didn’t know about the charges…

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