A few weeks ago I locked myself out of the apartment. I had to walk to Clancy’s work, get some keys, and walk back. Luckily it’s not that far of a walk, but it still caused me to miss my company’s Christmas Party. I decided at that point that I needed to get a set of spare keys. One set of spare keys still sits in a police evidence locker in Deseret (long story) and another disappeared during the move down to Estacado.

In Deseret, we lived in a sleepy suburban-style neighborhood and there was little to fear. And for the most part Zarahemla was the kind of town where you could leave your car unlocked, if you wanted to. I left my car unlocked in the big, bad city of Colosse, too, but that was primarily because I was tired of criminals breaking my window (value=$250) in order to get the stuff in my car (value=$100). And I left my apartment unlocked because apartment management never gave me a key to the doors I actually used and I figured that I didn’t want to have to clean broken glass off my rug any more than I did broken glass out of my car. Turned out not to be a concern because no one, save for a mentally disturbed ex-girlfriend, felt the need to sneak into my apartment without an invitation.

The neighborhood that we currently live in Santomas demands that we keep an eye to security. As for my car, that means more-or-less keeping it free of contents that anyone would want to steal. I have burned CDs which I take care to leave open so that any potential criminal knows that they are of no value. The apartment, on the other hand, is another story. At the same time, locking myself out of anything is not a perpetual hazard because of my forgetfulness. I could keep a key to the house in the car, but I’m afraid a thief might be smart enough to figure out that the housekey in the car may go to the house whose car the driveway is parked in. Criminals are deviously clever like that.

So I ended up getting one of those magnetic keyholders that you hide on the car out of view. They’re handy little things. There’s only one problem with it: the blasted thing has a giant gold key insignia on the front of it. For a split-second I thought that it might be helpful in case I forgot where I hid the thing. Then the thought occured to me: why would I want something I am hiding from potential thieves to have an advertisement as to its contents. Obviously, if they were to see it they would figure out what it was. But seriously, the stupid key insignia reflects light. I can understand the desire to advertise on your product, but this does strike me as something where discretion may be the better part of valor.

Luckily, I think I have it in a place where even if they do go below the car with a flashlight they probably won’t find it.

Which means that I probably won’t be able to find it, either.

Category: Road

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2 Responses to A Matter Of Security

  1. Peter says:

    You can buy fake dog turds that actually are keyholders. Place one on your front lawn and thieves will never know!
    Of course, the big risk is that you’ll reach down and grab the thing, and find out too late that it’s not a fake dog turd 🙂

  2. Will Truman says:

    We actually used to use a fake turd!

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