I was at that media/coffee place in Redstone that I have discussed before, when there was a bit of downtime and the woman behind the counter started talking to a customer that she apparently knew.

The baristess apparently greeted with the news that every mother wants to hear from her twenty year old son: My girlfriend is pregnant! And we just eloped! She had a way with words, it turned out, and said “Something gained and something lost. I gained a daughter-in-law and maybe a grandkid, but lost hope in my son’s future.”

She will no doubt love the grandchild, but she’s not particularly fond of the daughter-in-law. She secretly suspected that this was how things were going to turn out.

Anyhow, her lack of enthusiasm did not go over well with her son. She told him that he had just thrown his life away… just as she had twenty years before. Insert stuff about “Not that I don’t love my children…” here, which she quickly added.

Anyhow, the son apparently had designs on being a police officer. He won’t be able to do that now. So what, pray tell, was he going to do? That’s what she asked him. He replied that maybe he would become a security guard.

This next part (like the “something gained and something lost” quote above) is a direct quote, in part because I had to keep myself from laughing out loud:

“A security guard? Son, we live in Redstone. There’s nothing here worth paying someone to protect!”

If that isn’t the perfect encapsulation of Redstone stereotype, I don’t know what is.

Category: Downtown

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5 Responses to Nothing Of Value

  1. David Alexander says:

    Somehow, I suspect you could imagine the joy that my mother had when she found out that my unemployed older brother and his unemployed girlfriend are having a child. Somehow, you could imagine how *I* felt. 🙁

  2. Abel Keogh says:

    How does having a kid at 20 preclude someone from becoming a police officer?

  3. trumwill says:

    David, man, that’s rough. Sorry to hear it.

    Abel, it doesn’t entirely preclude it, but it makes the path more difficult. Going to college, to the state police academy, and all that are harder when you’re having to support a wife and kid on a low wage.

  4. SFG says:

    But now we know why the topic of this post was on your mind. 😉

  5. trumwill says:

    It’s entirely coincidental. I literally just heard the money quote the other day.

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