Kyle, one of my best friends back in Delosa, is moving out of his apartment. His platonic roommate of a few years now, Laney, has flunked out of school for good and is moving away. In a way it’s a blessing, though, because he and Laney haven’t been getting along. I had no idea of it until recently.
When two friends split up, you find yourself walking a balance. Kyle has been a good friend over the years. When push comes to shove, my loyalty lies with him. But I really like Laney as well. From a selfish standpoint, I might need her help in the future and I have no interest in burning that bridge. From a personal standpoint I feel bad for her. She had a lot more to give this world than she has given. She’s the National Merit Scholar gone bum. I know more people like that than I would care to admit.
Kyle and Laney had a really solid friendship for a while. Laney is gregarious and outgoing and Kyle curmudgeon and cynical. It worked. A few years ago when Kyle got wind that I liked Laney, he almost lit up because it was two people he cared about making each other happy (if it worked out, another story altogether). He really cared about her. He doesn’t care about many people.
But now I don’t imagine that they’re even going to speak to each other after they part ways.
My best best friend Clint had a roommate for a while, too. It started out well, but the last straw came when his roommate left town, leaving behind a kitchen full of vomit.
This happened more-or-less with his last set of roommates, too. Another set of uncomfortable situations. It’s difficult to live with someone for too long, I guess, unless there’s sex or kids in the bargain (or both!). I had a roommate throughout college and by the time it was done, I had no interest whatsoever in maintaining ties with him. Our common circles were a little too intertwined for that and with some time on my part and some patience on his, we got past most of our issues. Mostly, anyway.
My next roommate Karl and I got along with famously. But he and I almost never left our rooms. It was the perfect arrangement, really. It was like living alone, except we were able to split big-city rent. I was sorry to see that end.
But I really haven’t talked to him in quite a while. Not since I moved out, actually. Looking at Kyle’s situation, and Clint’s, I am starting to realize how really good I had it. And thinking that maybe I should send him an email or something.
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Maybe Myla’s not done giving yet.
My college roomie and I ‘broke up’ when I graduated (a yr ahead of her, as she was a yr younger). It just got…weird. Sad, after 3 yrs living together. I never quite knew what happened.
Definitely email the man. You might just make his day.
Heh… I knew exactly what happened in my case. Sometimes you know someone at a point in their lives where they are not at their best and, after repeated exposure, you wear thin and your perception of them becomes etched in stone no matter how much they may change and grow down the line. That’s about the most charitable way I can go in to it. It is like a breakup, in a way. He was a candidate for Best Man at my wedding. Sad.
Another reason why I refuse to ever live with a roommate. Ever. Again.
Other than my brother and the guys I lived with in college, I’ve never had an actual roommate (besides my wife) so I don’t have that kind of experience.
However, after getting back together with my college roommate recently after far, far too long – I have to say it was very much worth it, and it was as if no time had passed. We fell right back into our old give-n-take humor patterns, and the friendship came right back. I say take a chance, you never know.
I have always found it interestingly inscrutable how people of different sexes can live together platonically, alone. I guess I have to say if it were me it would be tough to resist trying to sneak a peak every once in a while…
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The previous post about Roommates reminded me of this little story: A long time ago I roomed with two guys: […]