An article in the Wall Street Journal about a cookie that I’ve never heard of called the Hydrox:

“This is a dark time in cookie history,” wrote Gary Nadeau of O’Fallon, Mo., last year on a Web site devoted to Hydrox. “And for those of you who say, ‘Get over it, it’s only a cookie,’ you have not lived until you have tasted a Hydrox.”

Still reeling from their loss, Mr. Nadeau and other “Hydrox people” have yet to accept their fate. Some have started an online petition demanding that Kellogg bring the cookie back. They have collected 866 signatures. Others in recent months have reported Elvis-like sightings — and tastings — of the defunct product. {…}

Eating Hydrox was “a badge of honor,” says 54-year-old Charles Clark, who processes records for U.S. Army reservists in St. Louis. He remembers receiving a package of Hydrox cookies on his sixth birthday and sleeping with it under his pillow. “Oreo had all the advertising, but those in the know ate Hydrox.”

Hydrox eaters tend to be independent-thinkers, favor underdogs and be skeptical of corporate marketing, he says.

I’m not sure I’ve been witness to people identifying themselves by what foods they eat. The closest that I’ve ever come is when my friend Clint and I would make a big deal extolling the virtues of obviously unhealthy manufactured foods. We’d talk about how the breakfast burritos “transcended the genre” of breakfast foods because its eggs weren’t quite eggs, it’s sausage not quite sausage, and where one ingredient ended and the other began is a delightful mystery. We also had something going about Easy Cheese being a scientific marvel (“It’s not solid, it’s not liquid, and yet somehow it’s cheeze or something comparable to it!”) and how we were supporting the scientific community by indulging.

Those are mostly jokes rather than any sort of posturing. It seems to me that when it comes to food, most people posture not by what they eat, but by what they don’t eat. They don’t eat meat or they don’t eat inhumanely grown meat or they don’t eat at fast food restaurants or chains or anything with corn syrup or 100,000 other things. That’s how people set themselves apart.

The Hydrox people are sort of doing that by not eating Oreos, of course, and I suppose with Hydrox gone they too will join the ranks of at-least-I-don’t-eat-_______.

On a sidenote, is it me or does Hydrox sound more like a toilet cleaner than a cookie?


Category: Coffeehouse, Kitchen

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7 Responses to You Are What You (Don’t) Eat?

  1. logtar says:

    It does sound like a cleaner, and I do have a friend that is a Pepsi fanboy… as well as a Nintendo fan boy.

  2. Webmaster says:

    Nintendo fanbois are somewhat vindicated by the success of the Wii.

    Pepsi fanbois and Coke fanatics… well give me an RC any day 😉

  3. trumwill says:

    I hadn’t thought about soft drinks, Logtar, but you’re right. Mountain Dew has quite an affirmative following among young geeks. Dr Pepper has a solid following among older geeks.

    Nintendo fans didn’t need the Wii to be vindicated. It always had the best properties and had some of games with the most accessible (quick learning curve) play. Wii is just icing on the cake.

    My mother used to work for RC Cola.

  4. Kirk says:

    I can honestly tell the difference between “Lance” crackers and “Austin” crackers. Interestingly enough, the Lance brand does cost more at the store: generally, an 8-pack of Lance costs about the same as a 12-pack of Austin.

    As for Hydrox cookies, I always thaought they were pretty cut-rate.

    Though I don’t judge a man by the color of his skin, I do judge him by his choice in snack food.

  5. Spungen says:

    We’d talk about how the breakfast burritos “transcended the genre” of breakfast foods because its eggs weren’t quite eggs, it’s sausage not quite sausage, and where one ingredient ended and the other began is a delightful mystery. We also had something going about Easy Cheese being a scientific marvel (”It’s not solid, it’s not liquid, and yet somehow it’s cheeze or something comparable to it!”) and how we were supporting the scientific community by indulging.

    Ah, yes, the academization of the lowbrow. This is how young geeks talk when they’re high.

  6. SFG says:

    Oh please. I used to discuss checkered tablecloths as a metaphor for Hollywood’s false portrayal of an integrated society without the use of any substances at all!

  7. trumwill says:

    Kirk,
    Try the Walmart brand. they been both Austin and Lance hands down. I agree that all of those brands definitely don’t taste the same.

    Spungen,
    What does it say about Clint and I that we don’t even need to be stoned?

    SFG,
    In Living Color (I think) had an absolutely great sketch about how Popeye and table pool are racist in nature.

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