As I prepare for my flight tomorrow, I’ll throw in an audience-participation post. I am interested in celebrities that are generally considered attractive and you don’t really understand why.

For instance, I consider Angelina Jolie to be a relatively unattractive woman not just by Hollywood standards but by everyday standards. I don’t understand why so many people believe that she’s so hot. What I find particularly curious is that some of the most ardent physical admirers of hers are women. Not only the self-proclaimed bisexuals I know that use her as an example of their alleged bisexuality, but I’ve heard more than once a straight woman say something to the effect of “I’m straight, but she makes me reconsider.” I’ve actually heard more women comment on her attractiveness than men.

Another example, and I’m not sure she counts, is Paris Hilton. Never mind the helium where her brain is supposed to be and her ugly personality, I don’t think that she would be physically attractive if she were as morally gold as Mother Theresa. But I don’t know if she counts because I think that much of her celebrity is due to her atrocious personality and it may be true that most guys think she’s as physically unremarkable as I do.

As far as male actors are concerned, I’m not sure because I haven’t put as much thought into it. The only one that comes to mind is Keaunu Reeves. But I guess Reeves is a good enough looking guy I just don’t understand why he ever had heart-throb status (prior to his sexual preferences becoming public, anyhow) since by Hollywood standards he’s pretty unremarkable. I think the same of Jake Gyllenhaal.

So do y’all have anyone you feel that way about? If so, who?


Category: Theater

About the Author


5 Responses to Not So Hot

  1. Spungen says:

    I think there’s a big difference between what one finds handsome or beautiful and what one finds hot. At least for me.

    Jude Law is handsome. Jake Gyllenhaal is hot. Especially in his Donny Darko, pre-Brokeback Mountain days. Hugh Grant is handsome. Adrien Brody is hot. Owen Wilson is handsome. Luke Wilson is hot.

    “Hot” means they have a certain emotional resonance, rather than physical perfection. Jake Gylenhaal looks like a slightly better version of a guy I’d like in real life. He’s got the whole brooding, intense, slightly messed-up look.

    I’ve found Mick Jagger devastatingly hot since I was about 9. Not now so much, but I still get weak-kneed when I see 60s-70s-era pics of him. He’s got that friend’s-shy-but-sexy-older-brother look, it’s hard to explain. I always was a sucker for men with big lips, who knows why.

    Most of the guys I think are really hot look at least a little bit fucked up.

    You do acknowledge that Angelina and Paris have great bodies, right? I think that’s a major part of their attraction. As for Angelina, she’s very exotic. You’ve never indicated you like Asian women, so that might help explain her lack of appeal to you.

  2. trumwill says:

    Jolie has fantastic legs, but most of her body is unremarkably by Hollywood standards (though naturally very attractive by any other standard). I didn’t realize that she was part Asian. The thing I find off-putting about her physically is her lips, though. That’s precisely the same thing that some find very attractive.

    I don’t consider Paris Hilton’s body to be as attractive. She’s got these little bird-legs and I saw a picture of her posterior (or lack thereof) that I actually found quite off-putting. Not that I think that her body is bad or anything, I just don’t find it particularly remarkable by Hollywood standards.

    Owen Wilson is handsome? Now that you bring him up I would actually put him in the camp of not understanding why he’s considered attractive that I had trouble filling in the original post. He’s got kind of an odd nose, doesn’t he? I always figured his star-power was in the charisma he exudes, which I’d associate more with hotness than handsomeness (if I am to see a distinction). Luke Wilson strikes me as a much better looking guy all around.

    But then again I never claimed to be normal. Well yes I did, once upon a time, but that was a fruitless effort.

  3. Spungen says:

    You’re right, Owen isn’t perfect, he certainly wouldn’t be a model in real life (as opposed to “Zoolander”). But he has the more traditionally “manly” features a lot of people mean when they say handsome. He’s got the more macho look. Both those brothers’ appeal has a lot more to do with charisma, but it’s a different kind of charisma.

  4. gmr says:

    OK, here are my entries.

    Angelina Jolie definitely. I don’t really find her all that attractive.

    Minnie Driver. Not attractive.

    Andie MacDowell. Not.

    Those are sort of the top 3 for me. I’ve never been able to figure out why any of those ever had a following.

  5. Hit Coffee » Not So Hot II: Anne Hathaway says:

    […] ife. But not 50 Most Beautiful People attractive. I haven’t been this puzzled since Angelina Jolie. And Jolie had a certain mojo with bisexual or otherwise straight women that Hathaway does […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

If you are interested in subscribing to new post notifications,
please enter your email address on this page.