One of the household things I don’t do very much is cook. Part of it is because my repertoire is limited and mostly involves foods that Clancy does not like. Not that she is a finicky eater, just that there is a culinary mismatch. She likes all of these spices and herbs that I often can’t even taste. I like plain things and don’t really no how to do complicated things. She’s going to teach me when she has time, but she doesn’t have the time.

Did you know Spam goes bad? I thought it was like Velveeta. I had a velveeta block for a year and a half and ne’er a problem with it. Spam doesn’t even last a month even when refrigerated. The odd thing about Spam is that you have to taste several bites before you realize that it has gone bad.

I drink a lot of soft drinks and switch around from one to the next. Soft drinks in bottles go flat (even when unopened) way before cans do. Another thing I have learned. Now I have two dozen bottles of Mountain Dew that doesn’t taste particular good.

I’ve re-acquainted myself with the joys of fake crab. It’s prepared and thoroughly processed food made up to taste like crab, but my diminished tastebuds can’t really taste the difference. Since it’s already prepared, I can eat it straight out of the bag out of the fridge. It makes a great little snack.

I’ve also taken to eating large-curd cottage cheese. I’m trying to cut back on my cream cheese intake and I can go further with the cottage than the cream. Clancy has been eating a lot of cottage cheese mixed with yogurt over the past year, but she gets the fat free stuff which barely has any curd at all. It feels like unnecessary duplication to have both, but I’m looking at it like diet coke (which she drinks) compared to regular coke (which I do). Different product, in its own way.

They’ve stopped carrying my favorite processed roast beef at the local Safeway. I’ve grown spoiled on the stuff. The alternatives just taste too salty.

Things have been really hectic lately, which is why I haven’t been as regularly writing and commenting. I’m hoping that it will all be smoothed out by the end of the week.

Speaking of smooth, am I the only one who thinks those Keith Stone commercials are a hoot?


Category: Kitchen

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3 Responses to Randomanian Processed Foodstuff

  1. Peter says:

    No matter what you do with Spam, however many ingredients and spices you add, the end product still tastes overwhelmingly of Spam.

  2. trumwill says:

    … in all its glory!

    More seriously, cottage cheese negates the taste of Spam.

  3. Black and Blue Man says:

    I almost never cook nowadays, and when I do it’s very basic cooking like using my microwave or my George Foreman Grilling Machine.

    I eat at home during the day, but almost every night I eat out partly because I enjoy it, and partly because I just want to get out of the house for a while after working there all day.

    When I eat out, though, I still prefer simple and straight-forward fud, and I especially enjoy buffets for the freedom and variety they provide.

    I also imbibe a lot of soft drink and much prefer getting it in cans because they retain freshness longer.

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