I commented on a Status by Fustle (my friend, ex-roommate for a short time, and Web’s current housemate), which drew the attention of my old friend Kelvin. Kelvin was at the top of the list of guys that met all the criteria of what women should reasonably want (tall, thin, unbelievably nice) and yet only rarely had a girlfriend (a state-of-affairs that I played a role in, unfortunately). Anyhow, he’s apparently got himself an attractive little girlfriend (I say little, she’s probably normal height, but he’s freakishly tall as defined by being taller than I am) that he’s serious about. So I can take him off that list. So on the male side, my list of guys that in a more just world would have a serious girlfriend or wife is at two (neither of which am I positive about). Meanwhile, the woman at the top of the female list – Kelvin’s counterpart in the complete inexplicability of their single status – has seen no movement as far as I’m aware. There are others, on both the male and female side, that are questionable members of this group.
Interestingly, I was just thinking about Kelvin and aforementioned woman a couple weeks ago and pondering a post about when one reaches the point where one looks at his or her friends and wonders why they are in the situation that they are in.
About the Author
3 Responses to Facebook Bears Good News
Leave a Reply to trumwill Cancel reply
please enter your email address on this page.
Am I the only one not on Facebook?
Also, Facebook reminds me of those online dating services, in that the only people who can get something out the site really don’t need it in the first place. For example, if you had lots of friends in college or high school, then you’re obviously gregarious enough to have friends today. So, you don’t need Facebook to catch up with old friends, as your current friends should be keeping you occupied.
But if you were socially awkward during your school days, then most likely you don’t have anyone you’d like to get in touch with from back then. (In fact, you may be wanting to forget those days altogether.) Also, you’ve probably not outgrown your awkwardness, so you have no friends in the present.
In short, those who already have more than enough friends can get more by using Facebook. Those who don’t have enough friends can’t get any more by using Facebook.
What a waste of time.
Ahh, but you see, on Facebook, people whom you didn’t necessarily like and who never liked you will pretend that you were pretty close back in the day. So you retroactively make friends! It’s a beautiful thing!
More seriously, once you get out of school, it gets harder to make friends. I made a good number of friends in college thanks in part to my roommate Hubert. Also, depending on a job, I’ve made friends there. But then I’m not in school and either not working or working at a job where for whatever reason friends are harder to make, then I need to rely in part on my previous networks. So I’ve never been really good at making friends and Facebook helps me keep in touch with the ones I’ve accidentally made over the years.
Kirk, you couldn’t be more wrong.
One of the highlights of my year so far has been my reconnection with friends from high school and college via FB. People that I would likely, barring the odd reunion, never speak to again for the rest of my life.
In conversations with these people I’ve found things out about them I never knew, saw where their lives had taken them and how that reflected on the people they were and what they learned, and also found out a lot about myself and what my relationship was with them. I’ve reconnected with folks I considered tangential or casual friends at best and found new common interests.
And since you all have a common background of school and can at least, via the verbal-only (and some photos) Facebook connection you can keep their old persona in your head and they don’t have to worry about impressing someone knew. And vice versa.
I even recently got a bit of closure on a relationship ending that has bothered me for 20 years. I’d lost touch long ago, wondered forever who was to blame for the way it ended and finally, through a long-overdue conversation, wrapped it all up. Now we’re friends again.
I think it’s fantastic.