Blender has a list of the 50 worst songs ever. Sure as rain, there are some songs on there that I really like:

#44 – I’d Do Anything For Love (Meat Loaf)
I think Meat Loaf has an unjustly bad reputation. He has an amazing voice whether you like the actual music or not and Jim Steinman (who wrote all of the songs on the Bat Out of Hell CDs as well as other hits) has a grand pageantry in his music that I have a great deal of appreciation for. The man writes musical comic books. To answer blender’s question of what ML won’t do… he won’t lie to her in order to hold on to her (or get her into bed… either way). He says it at multiple points throughout the song.

#43 – Follow Me (Uncle Kracker)
This song is just too catchy not to like.

#42 – The Sounds of Silence (Simon and Garfunkel)
Are you kidding me? Great song! A little pretentious perhaps, but it’s one of those “moment” songs where if you listen closely you can hear it playing in the back of your mind at specific points in your life.

#41 – We Didn’t Start the Fire (Billy Joel)
Catchy and nostalgic. Not Joel’s best, but a good listen from time to time.

#31 – Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm (Crash Test Dummies)
The Crash Test Dummies have a bunch of songs that sound the same and get tiresome pretty quickly, but this is one of the memorable ones. And not in a bad way.

#29 – Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Deep Blue Something)
Someone once said to me, at the point where it became obvious we were beyond the point of reconciliation, “This isn’t Breakfast at Tiffany’s”. Neither of us were willing to fight at all to keep whatever it was that we had, neither of us really lamented what we were losing, and we had no “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” moment to harken back on. Ever since then, this song has taken on a special meaning for me.

#22 – Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (Toby Keith)
This song captured the moment like few of the 9/11 songs did. We were pissed off and no artist at the time seemed willing to say so.

#21 – Two Princes (Spin Doctors)
I doubt I would like this song if it came out today, but I did like it at the time and get a good feeling when I listen to it now.

#19 – Broken Wing (Mr Mister)
Yeah, yeah, it was suburban angst… but it was quality suburban angst… and I was an angsty suburbanite.

#13 – Illegal Alien (Genesis)
I don’t know what possessed them to write this song given its politically incorrect content, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I find it funny. And I don’t know of any way that I could fairly be described as anti-immigrant.

{Via Dustbury, who is equally guilty of liking some of these songs.}


Category: Theater

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13 Responses to Nashville Confessions: 50 Songs

  1. Ethan says:

    “Watch that girl destroy me” by Possum Dixon isn’t on the list.

    I hereby declare that list null and void.

    Also: Was “I Eat Cannibals” by Toto Cuelo #51 or something? Ever seen the video?

    How about “New York City” by Nina Hagen?

    Don’t get me wrong, I agree with a fair amount of their picks, but as usual, the problems with lists are a) ranking and b) exclusions. Oh, so deserving exclusions like Possum Dixon.

    Oh yeah: No “Steal My Sunshine” by Len?

    And I guess the list author loves some Anne Murray.

    See what a flaming train wreck this exercise is? I’ll stop now.

  2. Webmaster says:

    Agreement on #41, #31, #22, and #21.

    Other ones:
    #48 – THE BEATLES “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” 1968

    I don’t know why – I just really enjoy this song.

    BOBBY McFERRIN – “Don’t Worry Be Happy” 1988

    By the same token that this ought to be considered a bad song, “This land is your land” is far worse – while McFerrin’s bit advocates being a moron, TLIYL is out-and-out communism.

    WANG CHUNG – “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” 1986

    In the words of Toranga Leela, “this wangs chung.” That reference alone is worth the song’s existence.

    Also of note, it seems the person putting together the list has no concept of music before the year 1984. There are some truly horrid songs from long before that, but all they could come up with is one Beatles tune?

    And where was Aerosmith’s “I don’t want to miss a thing”? If any song deserves to be – especially if you’re doing lousy songs from otherwise great groups – that one does.

  3. Spungen says:

    Sounds of Silence was beautiful. Loved it when I was 4, love it now. I can’t imagine why it would be on a worst songs list except, as you suggested, some might find it a bit pretentious.

    I don’t see why anyone could hate the mmmm-mmmm song either, unless they just didn’t get it.

    BOBBY McFERRIN – “Don’t Worry Be Happy” 1988

    By the same token that this ought to be considered a bad song, “This land is your land” is far worse – while McFerrin’s bit advocates being a moron,

    Wait, I thought McFerrin’s song was ironic. I thought he was using real problems to poke fun at the dopey folks who say happiness is a choice.

    I hated that Mr. Mister song too, mainly because so many annoying, lame people seemed to think it really meant something back then.

    That Billy Joel song is a piece of rambling idiocy, or am I missing something? What fire?

    If only Billy Joel and Rod Stewart had died back around 1980.

  4. Spungen says:

    BETTE MIDLER
    “From a Distance” 1990
    Satanic ballad depicts the Lord as neglectful oaf

    Ignoring an entire century of existentialism and science that declared God dead, bawdy bathhouse babe Bette Midler keeps a straight face throughout liberal homilies, stiff rhymes and more sound F/X than a Mel Gibson movie. Sure, war and famine suck, but Midler assures us that “God is watching us, from a distance.” In other words, the Almighty is some kind of heavenly grandfather, loving and caring, but too doddering and distracted to really get involved. Thanks, God!

    Worst Moment The drum machine. If God exists, He probably hates drum machines.

    Ok, this is another one where my interpretation differed. I thought she was questioning the existence of God, or at least questioning His interest in us. Whether she is or not, the song is sacriligious to Christians, because God is supposed to be among us, not off in the distance. You know, “Wherever two or three are gathered in my name,” footprints in the sand, all that.

  5. Webmaster says:

    “What if God was one of us” is another in the same vein Spungen – given that the entire point of the New Testament (if you are Christian and believe in Jesus, as opposed to Jews/Muslims who may or may not believe Jesus existed but certainly do not believe he is God) was that God wanted to experience life through our eyes as one of us.

  6. trumwill says:

    Steal My Sunshine
    This is the only one of Ethan’s nominees (except Anne Murray songs) that I am familiar with. I must confess it something of a guilty pleasure for me. Oddly, the version I have is different from the version on the radio. It has spoken parts that added a comedic element. I have no idea why they took that out of the radio version. I thought that the added words might be outtakes from a stoner movie that it was on the soundtrack for, but I never found the movie.

    Bobby McFerrin
    I just don’t like the sound of this song. As for its intent… eh, I like stoner bands sometimes.

    This Land Is Your Land
    I also have no grudge against this one, despite the communistic underpinnings. As far as communist songs go, this one is pretty light-weight. Take out the last couple verses and it’s not even there.

    Rod Stewart
    He was good at some point?

    From a Distance
    My interpretation is the same as Blender’s. It’s a more religious and less good version of Imagine, which popped into my mind as a song that I expected to see on the list, given the sneering cynicism of the commentary. It’s more gnostic than Christian in its view of God and it’s not surprising that the Christian churches wouldn’t approve.

    What If God Was One Of Us
    This one is kind of the opposite of From a Distrance, whereas Midler sings of a distant God whereas Osborne sings of a very engaged one. Ironically, I remember reading that the Catholic Church didn’t like this song because God “is not one of us” or somesuch.

  7. Ethan says:

    I don’t see why anyone could hate the mmmm-mmmm song either, unless they just didn’t get it.

    It’s catchy, but under scrutiny, I think they tried wayyy to hard to be “poignant” and thus went the one and out route (to my knowledge). I knew a guy who did a great Crash Test Dummies impression, who nailed the whole “this song is rrrrreally depressing, because we want to sound deeeep.”

    BTW, I wrote my own riff on this idea (thanks for the spark), and I managed to not mention “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes. I’m more forgiving of the song now than when it first aired, but really, try to act out the song. As in, do what the singer says she does. So suck in a huge breath and scream “what’s going on?!” from your front porch some morning. Great way to find out who is carrying concealed. 🙂

  8. Spungen says:

    I have no idea why they took that out of the radio version. I thought that the added words might be outtakes from a stoner movie that it was on the soundtrack for, but I never found the movie.

    It’s from “Go.” More of an ecstasy movie. 😉

  9. Spungen says:

    It’s from “Go.” More of an ecstasy movie.

    Wait, I may have been thinking of “Groove,” which came out about the same time. But I’m pretty sure the description applies to both. They kind of run together in my head, but I think the Groove soundtrack was a lot better.

  10. trumwill says:

    Must have been Groove. I’ve seen Go and none of the excerpts sound familiar. Worth seeing?

  11. Spungen says:

    “Steal My Sunshine” is actually on the “Go” soundtrack. My memory is dim and wasn’t turned on all the way at the time, but the bits were dialogue between a couple of the more comically stonerish guys.

    If SF raver scenes interest you, “Groove” would entertain you. It was good at the time. But it’s mainly about the music, so you can get 95 percent of the value by getting the soundtrack. The best part is a beautiful song by Alter)Ring, “Infinitely Gentle Blows,” that you may have heard in one of its 100 or so different remixes. (“Supertrance Remix,” “Extra-Super-Mega Trancey Mix,” etc. :))

  12. trumwill says:

    The dialogue bits really don’t sound familiar from Go and the character names don’t match up (Matt/Tim/Mark/Sharon/Karen)… very odd.

  13. Nashville Confessions: 50 Songs says:

    […] ; Nashville Confessions: 50 Songs

    Nashville Confessions: 50 Songs Not Joel’s best, but a good listen from time to time. #31 – Mmm Mmm Mmm […]

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